Please put down the seat…

ImageWhen you’ve given birth to five children, the pelvic floor is a thing of the past. That’s why, when I go for my daily jog, I usually take a detour and head for the service station. It’s not to get refueled, you understand. Any more liquids consumed and there’d be a catastrophe just as soon as I felt the urge to sneeze. It is instead to use the amenities. I have the ear phones in, and I’m listening to pop at a higher decibel than is probably healthy, and I suspect that’s why I made the mistake. I told my dog to guard the door, closed it after me, and was overwhelmed by the the smell of stale urine. I was shocked. Every time I had been into this toilet previously, it had smelled clean and fresh, and I was always pleasantly surprised. But this time, as I gingerly put down the seat and perched on it, I considered a gentle reminder to the staff: the toilet needs attention. Quickly finishing what I went there for, I went to wash my hands, vaguely cognisant that the wash-hand basin had changed its usual position. I washed my hands and made to walk out, when I saw to my horror: a urinal! Now the trough is to me one of those sacred male domains that I have no interest in learning about. Certainly not being initiated into, and I was disgusted to think I had just sat my clean posterior onto that offensive smelling seat, which of course, I had had to put down myself. I should have done a double take right there. Now that’s the thing about men and women. Because besides the obvious, where I find need to express my emotions on a daily and rather word-filled basis, the man of the house fits his heart into the space of a few short words. Where I send texts that fill the screen and need to be scrolled endlessly to get to the end of the meaning I’m trying to convey, the male sends back the terse reply, ‘we’ll talk about this later’. But later, when you bring up the topic, he says he doesn’t want to talk about it. And to punctuate his sentence, he uses the old ‘I’m going to walk away’, to add the fullstop. I have read that men are ‘creatures of action’, that they are ‘goal orientated’ and ‘future driven’. I only wonder at the snails’ pace of some of them to learn to aim true and put down the seat. My guess is that they’re just in a hurry to ‘get things done’…

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8 thoughts on “Please put down the seat…

    1. Well, Nike, while we’re still putting the finishing touches on our “toilet” and the mascara wand has just slipped down the cheek to leave a black mark on the oh-so-carefully powdered cheek, they’ve done all they need to do, i.e.: underarm deodorant and even a clean tee shirt … After all, who do they want to impress? In the meantime, we’re hoping they’ll notice how lovely we look 😉
      Have a good day, your friend, D. J. Blackmore.

  1. Hello DJ..
    Thank you for following me. I’m going to stay awhile and visit to check out your blog.

    Ha! I like this post…Men are wonderful things, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but I do agree that they are right to the point, and certainly don’t like the fuss of details in a story (unless they are in the mood and in the moment of the story they’re trying to convey-then it’s okay for all the details). And when it comes to ‘having a talk’, may I add the statement, “This conversation is over now,” or “I’m done talking about this”.

    Blessings for a wonderful day,
    Marianne

    1. Marianne, when it comes to men, us ladies find them a strange recipe to share the kitchen with …
      Still, we hanker for them even though they cause heart burn, heart ache, and a pain in the neck. 🙂
      Thank you for stopping by. Your friend,
      D. J. Blackmore

  2. So funny!! I have been in a men’s restroom when we where going on vacation and made a stop and the women’s was being cleaned. I couldn’t wait, so my hubby went inside to make sure no one was there and then he guarded the door to make sure no man came in. He only had to turn away one man and he was nice about it. I’m glad I was with my husband…never would have went inside without him!

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